I was trolling the grocery store wine selection tonight and spotted a bottle of that rare varietal, Riunite Lambrusco. For the next three hours I was singing their magical jingle, "Riunite on ice, Riunite on ice."
Thank God for Youtube, which provided the following flashbacks to a world where work hard/play harder twenty&thirtysomethings weren't afraid to water down their shit wine with ice cubes while hitting the slopes and enjoying burgers.
"Tacos Go Nice"
"Juggling on the Slopes"
"Home Run"
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Monday, February 25, 2008
For immediate release
Sweet victoryThe ninth annual Van De Voorde Oscar Smackdown ended late Sunday with another victory by the family patriarch.
In a down year for viewing nominated films, Papa Van De Voorde -- known the world over as the Jack Nicholson/Meryl Streep/Roberto Benigni of Oscar prognosticating -- correctly picked 11 out of 24 categories to edge out Old Lady Van De Voorde (on her 30th birthday, no less), who managed a paltry 10 correct picks.
"It was a great night for Oscar and a great night for me," said the victorious Van De Voorde. "Earlier in the day, I toyed with the idea of throwing the competition just so I wouldn't have to hear her whine about being old and a loser. But I came to my senses and realized this was too grand a stage and I owed it to my fans and the Academy to give it my all and embarrass her."
For the first time in Van De Voorde Oscar Smackdown history, a third place award was presented Sunday. Mrs. Van De Voorde's sister, Alejandra, brought up the rear with four correct picks.
"You can't really make fun of her for how bad she did," said the always gracious Van De Voorde. "She's been out of the country for most of the year."
The participants were awarded prize packages coordinated by Mrs. Van De Voorde. The grand prize winner received a $5 pair of sunglasses, a box of Lemonheads (which the winner traded for the second place box of Charleston Chews) and a copy of the film Knocked Up.
Second place received a movie journal and third place was presented with a "High School Musical 2" wide-ruled notebook.
This was the first victory for the elder Van De Voorde in two years, having previously lost the 2007 and 2008 Grammy Challenge, and last year's Oscar Smackdown. He picked up a minor victory in between the 2008 award competitions by winning a bet that Beyonce did win a Golden Globe last year for Dreamgirls. He's still awaiting delivery of his pedicure to be performed by Mrs. Van De Voorde.
Mr. Van De Voorde's Road to Victory:
*Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis
*Actor Supporting: Javier Bardem
*Animated Feature: Ratatouille
*Cinematography: There Will Be Blood
*Directing: No Country for Old Men
*Film Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum
*Original Score: Atonement
*Original Song: "Falling Slowly" from Once
*Sound Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum
*Screenplay (Adapted): No Country for Old Men
*Screenplay (Original): Juno
In a down year for viewing nominated films, Papa Van De Voorde -- known the world over as the Jack Nicholson/Meryl Streep/Roberto Benigni of Oscar prognosticating -- correctly picked 11 out of 24 categories to edge out Old Lady Van De Voorde (on her 30th birthday, no less), who managed a paltry 10 correct picks.
"It was a great night for Oscar and a great night for me," said the victorious Van De Voorde. "Earlier in the day, I toyed with the idea of throwing the competition just so I wouldn't have to hear her whine about being old and a loser. But I came to my senses and realized this was too grand a stage and I owed it to my fans and the Academy to give it my all and embarrass her."
For the first time in Van De Voorde Oscar Smackdown history, a third place award was presented Sunday. Mrs. Van De Voorde's sister, Alejandra, brought up the rear with four correct picks.
"You can't really make fun of her for how bad she did," said the always gracious Van De Voorde. "She's been out of the country for most of the year."
The participants were awarded prize packages coordinated by Mrs. Van De Voorde. The grand prize winner received a $5 pair of sunglasses, a box of Lemonheads (which the winner traded for the second place box of Charleston Chews) and a copy of the film Knocked Up.
Second place received a movie journal and third place was presented with a "High School Musical 2" wide-ruled notebook.
This was the first victory for the elder Van De Voorde in two years, having previously lost the 2007 and 2008 Grammy Challenge, and last year's Oscar Smackdown. He picked up a minor victory in between the 2008 award competitions by winning a bet that Beyonce did win a Golden Globe last year for Dreamgirls. He's still awaiting delivery of his pedicure to be performed by Mrs. Van De Voorde.
Mr. Van De Voorde's Road to Victory:
*Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis
*Actor Supporting: Javier Bardem
*Animated Feature: Ratatouille
*Cinematography: There Will Be Blood
*Directing: No Country for Old Men
*Film Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum
*Original Score: Atonement
*Original Song: "Falling Slowly" from Once
*Sound Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum
*Screenplay (Adapted): No Country for Old Men
*Screenplay (Original): Juno
My friend Steve
If this column were a novel, I’d dedicate it to Steve Biondo.
I was saddened to learn that my former colleague in the Laurens County press corps died Jan. 22 after a battle with respiratory problems. Steve was a great talent and – people say it all the time – “just the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet.”
During my five years on the beat with The Clinton Chronicle, I had the unfortunate opportunity to spend a lot of time with Biondo. It was unfortunate only because I think we both would rather have been somewhere other than a government meeting, waiting for an executive session to end, or a new business ribbon cutting, waiting for the giant golden shears to arrive. But it was during this downtime on the job that Steve and I got a chance to know each other.
Mostly, it was just chitchat. “How about this weather?” “How’s the family?” “Any big plans for the weekend?” And he was a good person to chitchat with.
Then one post-Oscar ceremony Monday morning we discovered each other to be film buffs and that opened up a whole new world of conversation while we waited for Jim Coleman or Randy Randall to pound the gavel.
This type of collegiality isn’t necessarily rare in the cutthroat, competitive journalism market that is Laurens County, but sometimes when you think you’re the only guy who’s getting the story and you see one of your competitors show up for the same interview, you can get a little miffed. With Steve, there was never any competitive posturing. He was glad to see me and I was glad to see him.
Early on in my tenure at The Chronicle I was introduced to the type of guy Steve Biondo was. We had both been summoned early one morning to Torrington because then Gov. Jim Hodges was going to tour the facility and talk to a group of employees about job training and troubles in the state’s economy. It was going to be exciting. I had never covered a governor’s visit before.
When we arrived, we were told by the genius Torrington gatekeepers that we wouldn’t be allowed in to see the governor. So, we sat there for a long time waiting. I was mad. “My Dad works here and you’re not going to let us in? What about the First Amendment?”
Steve just chuckled.
Finally, the governor emerged from his secret meeting and I got a couple quick and bogus quotes from him about something. In my haste, I forgot to snap a photo of him for that thing we publish called a newspaper. It was a mistake and Daddy Franklin put me on punishment for it. It was a bad, bad feeling.
A couple of days later, I saw Steve at another meeting. He handed me a photograph he took of me grilling the governor outside of Torrington with my notepad in one hand and a camera (with lens cap on) in the other. “I thought you might like to have this,” he said.
I didn’t want it at the time. It was a permanent, full color record of one of my dumbest moments on the job, but I was glad that Steve would think to give it to me. My wife put in a scrapbook.
Later in our careers, Steve published two historical fiction novels he wrote about South Carolina Civil War legend Manse Jolly. I was proud of him and genuinely inspired. If Steve, who covered all the same meetings I covered, was able to find the time to write a book, then why couldn’t I? There were days, I’m sure, that Steve and I spent more time together as reporters for rival newspapers than we did with our families, but if he ever complained, I didn’t hear him.
This is what I’ll remember him for, and this Sunday, I’ll watch the Academy Award winners say their thank-yous at the Oscars and I’ll think about how thankful I am that I go to know Steve Biondo.
I was saddened to learn that my former colleague in the Laurens County press corps died Jan. 22 after a battle with respiratory problems. Steve was a great talent and – people say it all the time – “just the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet.”
During my five years on the beat with The Clinton Chronicle, I had the unfortunate opportunity to spend a lot of time with Biondo. It was unfortunate only because I think we both would rather have been somewhere other than a government meeting, waiting for an executive session to end, or a new business ribbon cutting, waiting for the giant golden shears to arrive. But it was during this downtime on the job that Steve and I got a chance to know each other.
Mostly, it was just chitchat. “How about this weather?” “How’s the family?” “Any big plans for the weekend?” And he was a good person to chitchat with.
Then one post-Oscar ceremony Monday morning we discovered each other to be film buffs and that opened up a whole new world of conversation while we waited for Jim Coleman or Randy Randall to pound the gavel.
This type of collegiality isn’t necessarily rare in the cutthroat, competitive journalism market that is Laurens County, but sometimes when you think you’re the only guy who’s getting the story and you see one of your competitors show up for the same interview, you can get a little miffed. With Steve, there was never any competitive posturing. He was glad to see me and I was glad to see him.
Early on in my tenure at The Chronicle I was introduced to the type of guy Steve Biondo was. We had both been summoned early one morning to Torrington because then Gov. Jim Hodges was going to tour the facility and talk to a group of employees about job training and troubles in the state’s economy. It was going to be exciting. I had never covered a governor’s visit before.
When we arrived, we were told by the genius Torrington gatekeepers that we wouldn’t be allowed in to see the governor. So, we sat there for a long time waiting. I was mad. “My Dad works here and you’re not going to let us in? What about the First Amendment?”
Steve just chuckled.
Finally, the governor emerged from his secret meeting and I got a couple quick and bogus quotes from him about something. In my haste, I forgot to snap a photo of him for that thing we publish called a newspaper. It was a mistake and Daddy Franklin put me on punishment for it. It was a bad, bad feeling.
A couple of days later, I saw Steve at another meeting. He handed me a photograph he took of me grilling the governor outside of Torrington with my notepad in one hand and a camera (with lens cap on) in the other. “I thought you might like to have this,” he said.
I didn’t want it at the time. It was a permanent, full color record of one of my dumbest moments on the job, but I was glad that Steve would think to give it to me. My wife put in a scrapbook.Later in our careers, Steve published two historical fiction novels he wrote about South Carolina Civil War legend Manse Jolly. I was proud of him and genuinely inspired. If Steve, who covered all the same meetings I covered, was able to find the time to write a book, then why couldn’t I? There were days, I’m sure, that Steve and I spent more time together as reporters for rival newspapers than we did with our families, but if he ever complained, I didn’t hear him.
This is what I’ll remember him for, and this Sunday, I’ll watch the Academy Award winners say their thank-yous at the Oscars and I’ll think about how thankful I am that I go to know Steve Biondo.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Homemade Nastiness
Despite some nastiness involving a homemade turkey sandwich and my intestines, I made this mixtape for you. Happy Valentine's Day. I love you, baby.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Super Bowl Blog V
It's the Mannings' world and we bow down before them.Once again, Bill Belichick shows his ass. Hey, Hillary, run back to the sideline and take your loss like a man. You and your sweatshirt need to sit there and wait for that last second to tick off the clock. Jerk.
Super Bowl Blog IV
The Giants lead 10-7 and we just saw the greatest quarterback of our generation (eff u, Tom Brady) all by himself in luxury box, wearing a nice blazer/shirt combo, celebrating his brother's touchdown pass. But he looks lonely. My older brother celebrates all of my touchdowns surrounded by a posse 12-deep.
Super Bowl Blog III
What's wrong with us as a culture that we get so excited about commercials? These are advertisements from companies who want to sell us their crap. It's not art. It's not any more valuable to us than a chuckle. But we worship them like the good consumer capitalists we are. So, in case you missed any of tonight's sales pitches, you can catch them all at http://www.myspace.com/superspots.
And if I hear one more indie rock chanteuse cooing as the soundtrack for some product or business in an attempt to make it cool and hip, I'm going to chuck.
Super Bowl Blog II
The only thing better than football players reading important historical documents is football players reading the definitions of words that symbolize their season. Definitions just sound so definitive. It creates great drama. And it's dumb.
Super Bowl Blog I
This is the second year that I can remember that Fox has had NFL-affiliated folks and actors in period clothing read the Declaration of Independence before the game. Tell me why, again?
I thought last year was just a nod to the halftime performer's former band, The Revolution.
It's dumb.
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