A Can You Dig It Partisan Christmas Spectacular

Up until Sunday, I had made it a point to avoid the mall at all costs.
The problem is not the commercialization of Christmas. I love the commercialization of Christmas. The sooner I see tree ornaments on the shelves and snowman sweaters on the racks, the better. I wouldn’t mind if they – and when I say “they” I mean the corporate stewards of the holiday spirit – started rolling out the Christmas junk in June. And sell it to me 24 hours a day, seven days a week, will you? Make some poor little foreign girl work long hours for little pay to assemble it for me, and while she’s at it, make sure she slaps on a couple of coats of lead-based paint.
No, what I dislike about the mall and Wal-Mart at Christmas time is the people who drive there, park there and shop there. Most of them shouldn’t be allowed out of their cages, let alone have driver’s licenses and major credit cards. But thanks to the Founding Fathers, every citizen has the right to pile up debt and park over the line, and they all showed up at the mall on Sunday.
My wife and I did most of our shopping online this year, so Sunday’s excursion was just going to be a quick trip to get a few things for my extended family. We tried to do as much advance prep as we could. We had shopping lists, a budget, and an entrance and exit strategy that was more George H.W. Bush than George W. Bush.
We packed up the baby and headed to Haywood Mall prepared to do some serious guerilla shopping. We made it past the first line of attacks on Haywood Road and were jockeying for position in the Macy’s parking lot when the 14-month-old in the backseat started regurgitating what seemed like every meal she’s had since Thanksgiving. As I tailed a couple of teen-agers heading towards their daddy’s SUV, the baby’s mother decided we should just turn around and go home.
It was a Christmas miracle.
I was fully prepared to just go home and spend some quality time with my family, but the shopping still needed to be done, so after garden hosing the baby’s car seat, I was redeployed to The Shops at Greenridge, which if you haven’t been, is the Afghanistan to Haywood Mall’s Iraq.
I made it into the Barnes & Noble there to look for a couple of nice books for my parents. I strolled over to the politics section and discovered some fan of lunatic conservative fiction had taken the time to cover up anything with a liberal bent with books by Ann Coulter and some cheaply thrown together biography of Mitt Romney. That kind of partisanship at Christmas really upset me.
Who does that type of thing?
“I do,” my wife told me when I got home. “I always turn Ann Coulter’s books around. I can’t stand to look at her face.”
Then there’s the story about me paying to see another man’s light display in Mauldin.
I managed to string together about 75 lights across garage, with a solid 64 of them in actual working order, while this guy in Mauldin creates a bona fide tourist attraction. You might as well remove all of the testosterone-producing nodes from my body. There were thousands and thousands of pretty twinkling lights to distract my baby from getting sick again, but I was most amazed by the sight the man’s power meter (you know what I mean). It was spinning faster than Mike Huckabee caught in the devil’s doughnut shop.
Besides that, it’s been a pretty lousy holiday season so far. I think maybe the contentiousness of the upcoming Presidential primaries is starting to creep into my Christmas spirit. It’s a good thing we’re going to spend Christmas with my family in Iowa this year.
I think it will do me good to sit down and enjoy the holidays with my Republican relatives. They buy the best presents.

Von Pea: The American Angster Interview

Jay-Z

American Angster

The Von Pea Remixes

Brooklyn-based MC and producer Von Pea is 33.333333 percent of the Can You Dig It?-approved group Tanya Morgan, whose debut album, Moonlighting, drew upon the creativity and cleverness of the glory years of the Native Tongues era, and in the process reignited my passion for hip-hop music.
While his fellow Tanya Morganers – Cincinnati MCs Ilyas and Donwill – work on their outside projects, Von Pea is showing off his production skills (he produced many of the Tanya Morgan tracks under the moniker “The Beatmaker”) with a remix of Jay-Z’s American Gangster album, courtesy of the recently released a cappella tracks.
Offering up his vocal tracks is an innovative marketing move J-Hova used with great success following the release of his 2003 comeback CD, The Black Album. It served as an open invitation for every amateur and professional music producer from here to Kraplakistan to work with the best in the business. The move generated a lot of great promotion for Jay-Z and a lot of crap remixes, but some good ones, too.
Fast forward to the magical web of the Internets, where Von Pea stumbles upon Can You Dig It?, the worldwide digital headquarters of the hit analog column, and reads the feature on Tanya Morgan’s show in Asheville, N.C., where I mistakenly draw a line in the sand between Jay-Z and the boys of Brooklynati. (I forgot that the line is muddied because the wildly platinum-selling Jay-Z has an art complex, as well as crazy lyrical skills that attract the admiration of the finest rappers with great songs and no sales.) As an early Christmas gift, Santa Von sends me the pre-release link to his completed Jay-Z remixes, American Angster, and agrees to an exclusive interview about the project.
After a few days of bumping Angster in the funkiest windowless cubicle in all of South Carolina, I’m happy to say Von Pea succeeds in transforming the sometimes flashy original American Gangster into a much grittier piece, still suitable to the subject matter and still funky fresh.
Download it for yourself here:
http://www.zshare.net/download/545364616e09b6/

Now, read the interview, where we discuss everything from Beyonce to Mike Huckabee.

Can You Dig It: What's the inspiration for American Angster?
Von Pea: My boy Scott Free from Scratch magazine told me about the a cappellas coming out and the first thing I thought was "Oh no, not again." The Black Album remixes got out of hand and I told myself I’d never jump in that race, but I told myself it would be a fun challenge because not much is against me doing this. Most people probably see it as a waste of time, or don’t consider me a producer, or even know that I’ve been producing a decent amount of Tanya Morgan’s music. I had nothing to lose really.

CYDI: How long did it take you to complete?
Von Pea: I started around Thanksgiving week and finished December 7th.

CYDI: Have you imagined a scenario where Jay-Z is listening to the remixes on his Big Pimpin' yacht as Beyonce is feeding him grapes, then she falls so hard for your tracks that she leaves him, moves in with you in Brooklyn and starts buying you stuff on her American Express?
Von Pea: Who do you think is paying for my studio time for my solo album? Peas Gotta Have It, September 2008!

CYDI: After all that drama, any chance of Jay-Z appearing on the next Tanya Morgan album?
Von Pea: Nothing is surprising anymore. If you would have told Phonte or Pooh in 2004 that Little Brother would put out an album with one 9th beat and a Lil Wayne feature, he would have laughed at you... yet it happened and it worked. So as crazy as it sounds, you never know!

CYDI: What track are you most proud of on Angster?
Von Pea: Probably “Success,” because I actually had that sample arranged like that sitting alone for a long time and never knew what to do with it, but I said if there ever was a "D'evils" a cappella I would finish this beat for that. "Success" is the same thing almost, so I got to achieve that goal.

CYDI: How is the remix process different from creating your own original work? Do you have a different mindset? Is it fun to mess with Jay-Z's flow?
Von Pea: Some people say I'm a Jay-Z biter, so maybe that’s why it was easy ha-ha...To be honest, my own work has been a stressor recently because people are telling me so much is riding on the next Tanya Morgan, and I'm telling myself I have to remind people I was a soloist, so my own endeavors don’t come across like it's some playaround side project solo...That’s where the angst came in. This was a release.

CYDI: You've already given the Von Pea treatment to Kanye on Grand Vonye and now Jay-Z gets Pea-ed on with American Angster. Who's next?
Von Pea: People thought I was going to rap over the original American Gangster beats. I don’t see myself ever doing that again... rapping over someone else’s instrumentals for a whole project. I don’t see myself remixing a whole album again either unless I was getting paid for it by the artist, aka actually commissioned to do it! This was something I had to get out of my system. Angster has gotten me work already, though. I'm actually producing an album now for an MC that people already know and love, but it’s way too early to mention who it is yet.

CYDI: South Carolina is one of the first states to vote in the Presidential primaries. It seems like that's all we can think about here, so here's a two-part question:
1) Who are you going to vote for?
2) Common has shown his ability to rhyme Obama, show off your MC skills and give me three good rhymes for Huckabee.
Von Pea: I’m not sure who I’m voting for yet but I’m definitely voting, I've been voting since I was 20.
Huckabee? Luckily, these rappers can’t fuck with me, the only ones that can I get 'em pregnant so they're stuck with me

CYDI: The men of Tanya Morgan have so much going on right now with all of you kind of doing your own thing. Are there plans for a new album as a group? And if so, is there pressure now that you've gained some notoriety in the hip-hop community?
Von Pea: I can only speak for me on the pressure thing, and part of that pressure is why I stopped and just did this project. But when it’s all said and done, I’m not worried about any of that pressure, good music got us here and that’s going to remain enough for me... good music. I’m not trying to get lost in someone else’s goals for me or the group. That’s what happens to so many artists and that’s why their second album is always the dark and "things aint what they used to be" album. They get lost and caught up. It's happened to the best of them, and it can’t happen to us, so I’m staying away from the pressure. Our next LP is called Brooklynati and it will be out summer '08.

CYDI: Besides Tanya Morgan – which I’ll go on record declaring one of the best group names of all time, what are some of your favorite names in hip-hop history?
Von Pea: My favorite MC names are Jody Breeze or Guilty Simpson. I think those two names are fly as hell. My favorite group name is probably... I think Niggaz With Attitude tells you everything you need to know about them.

CYDI: Besides TM-affiliated work, what are you listening to now inside and outside of hip-hop? What's inspiring? Is there somebody out there you think is pushing things in the right direction?

Von Pea: I’m still playing Blu & Exile, 9th’s album, Busta's Dilla-Gence mixtape, Lupe, I’ve been playing a lot of hip hop for the past few weeks, I haven’t been on my other stuff lately. I don’t think there is a set direction anymore; everyone seems to be doing their own thing for a change.

CYDI: Prince, my musical hero and longtime doubles ping-pong partner, is suing Internet sites for unauthorized "use" of his copyrighted material. This craziness hit home when Youtube deleted a video of my daughter dancing to his new album. As a young artist who has effectively used the Web to promote your work and who relies on the word-of-mouth capabilities of the internet, where do you draw the line? Do you worry about losing revenue through file sharing or are you at the point in your career where you're just happy people are listening? And, can I record and post video of my daughter dancing to your music?
Von Pea: Ha-ha...As long as she’s not dancing to any of my songs with adult lyrics. I don’t have anything against downloading because I do it too. Absolutely. But I also go out and support. If it’s not the first week, I do buy the album eventually, but I support. I have a problem with skimming more than anything. If you’re gonna download my album, at least give it a real listen! Don’t skip through it looking for instant gratification.

CYDI: Isn't www.gregvandevoorde.blogspot.com the best damn blog on the Internet?
Von Pea: I don’t know. My Myspace blog is pretty good.

Bonus Tracks
CYDI: Favorite American Gangster?
Von Pea: "Success"

CYDI: Favorite American Angster?
Von Pea: "Ignorant Shit"

Airport Booties

So, in preparation for our big Christmas trip to Moline, I'm trying to figure out if I should reserve some airport parking at a place called Park 'N Fly in Atlanta. My company has some sort of discount and you know I've gots to gets mine.
One of Park 'N Fly's big selling points, other than the company discount and the cool-ass name with the 'N that makes it sound a little like rock 'n' roll, is that they offer free "airport booties." I've never heard of airport booties, but you know I've gots to gets mine. Apparently airport booties has its own Web site, although I can think of some better, more profitable uses for that domain name. Here's what it has to say for itself:
Airport Booties™ the only name brand Pedylactic™ for use at TSA airport security screening locations. Made of non-porous Ethylene Vinyl Acetate, Airport Booties™ help prevent the various bacteria and viruses from touching bare skin and being transmitted. Created to help make air travel safe and secure.

I thought it was those freedom hating terrorists we had to worry about. Turns out, bacteria and viruses that feed off security checkpoints are the real shoe bombers. Richard Reid was just a decoy.
Please go to the airport booties site to read the rest. It's good stuff. The best thing is, I'm getting mines for free.

At left, this man's shoes were the bomb!