Getting out of the funk with The Original 7ven

The last couple of months haven't been the greatest and I've been struggling a little to get back to my amazingly upbeat self. Tough times like these call for the right music, and the way I see it, you have two choices: 1) You can dive head first into your pity party with something whiny and sorrowful, and most likely British; or 2) You can try to pull yourself out of the funk with a double dose of the funk.

I didn't think I was quite ready for Option 2, but like a funkin' miracle from above, the Minneapolis branch office of The Adjustment Bureau saw fit to reunite the original seven members of The Time after 21 years to record a new album that makes me smile, dance and laugh every single time I play it.

My friend Prince tried to stomp his pointy heels all over my comeback and theirs by not allowing them to use their Prince-given name, The Time. But just as Prince's other revered side project, The Family, did this year when they regrouped and recorded their own new music under the name fDeluxe, The Time just moved forward and renamed themselves "The Original 7ven."

Although Prince wrote and basically recorded all of the songs on their first three albums, the seven members of The Time were -- and still are -- talented musicians in their own right. Jimmy Jam (keys) and Terry Lewis (bass) wrote and produced a million hits after Prince fired them and they're responsible for producing most of the new album; Morris Day is coolest, most pimping and self-deprecating frontman in the world, not to mention a funky-ass drummer with enough personality in his voice to pull off any line; Jerome Benton is the greatest hype man ever, always stealing the show; Jesse Johnson is an amazing guitarist and should be a household name (Quad Cities, U.S.A., represent!); Monte Moir, who wrote Janet Jackson's "The Pleasure Principle," can play the Minneapolis sound's signature keyboard lines like nobody else; and Jellybean "Don't Be So Mean" Johnson is the drummer in one of the tightest live bands ever to do it.

With all of that said, if they had never recorded this new album, Condensate, their legacy might have been misinterpreted as solely the best band to play Prince songs. Condensate disproves that argument.

While the new music still adheres to the template Prince set out for them in the early 80s, Condensate is slick, funky and really adventurous music for fans of the genre, not to mention way more fun than anything Prince has released in a long time. They don't take themselves too seriously, just the music.

Don't be tempted like I was to judge the album by 30 or even 90-second snippets. There are funky little surprises around every corner that show off their musicianship and make for a great listen all the way through. Also, go to Best Buy and get the CD with special DVD documentary featuring the guys telling their own history. It's really well done and kind of sweet (Morris delivers another classic Morris line when, describing his normal childhood growing up in Minneapolis, he says in his Mr. Day voice, "A new bike for Christmas and shit like that.")

And if this song -- the greatest social media jam ever written -- doesn't pick you up, put a little hop in your step and make you feel like dancing, you might as well just retire and go to bed:

Palin as Prince

I hate to add to the media frenzy over Sarah Palin's book tour for her trashy little Hollywood tell-all, but I just can't let the fact that she raided Prince's closet for a dinner date at Billy Graham's house slide by without a mention.

Let's try this:

Prince sang about "23 positions in a one-night stand."

Sarah Palin has 23 positions she doesn't understand.

Maybe you can spend your day coming up with some others.

'We All Wanna Be Prince'

Can't believe my wife out-scooped me on this cool song by Felix Da Housecat. Most all of the lyrics come from Prince songs.
Careful! Put the kids to bed before watching.

Felix Da Housecat - We All Wanna Be Prince

This is what it sounds like when Cubs cry

Tonight, the Chicago Cubs begin the journey to erase 99 years of futility with the opening game of their division series against the Los Angeles Dodgers.
This is our second straight trip to the playoffs, a feat almost unheard of in Cubs history, and our best chance to make the World Series since the 2003 Steve Bartman debacle against the Florida Marlins.
We earned the best record in the National League over the course of the regular season, giving us home field advantage in the playoffs. Unfortunately, if -- and it makes my palms sweaty and bowels loose to even consider the possibility -- we make the World Series, the American League will have the home field advantage thanks to that horrid, 15-inning epic All-Star game that the AL won 4-3.
It's difficult to effectively convey what the Cubs mean to me. My love and dedication to them runs as deep as my affection for Prince. But while my support of Prince has been repaid in my lifetime with triumphant moments in the 1980s and some thrilling spectacles recently (Super Bowl XLI), being a Cubs fan is like being forced to buy "Rave Unto the Joy Fantastic" over and over again.
I've been embarrassed at times to be a Prince fan, but he's never made me cry. In 1984, when the world was in a frenzy over "Purple Rain," the Cubs made me cry when they let a 2-0 series lead in the NL Championship slip away with three consecutive losses to a-hole Steve Garvey and the San Diego Padres.
In 1989, as Prince topped the album charts with the "Batman" soundtrack, the Cubs' bat men brought tears to my eyes again, losing the NLCS in five games to the a-hole Will Clark and the San Francisco Giants.
The next nine years saw Prince and the Cubs fall into decline. I stood by them both. Prince changed his name to an unpronounceable symbol and the Cubs were realigned in the NL Central Division. The Cubs benefited far more from the identity change and they returned to the playoffs n 1998 via the Wild Card, thanks in part to the record setting season of Sammy Sosa. The excitement was short-lived, however, as they were swept 3-0 by the Braves.
Five years later, Prince was a Jehovah's Witness and the Cubs put together their best team in ages, mounting a 3-1 series lead in the NLCS against the Marlins. The Cubs dropped Game 5, but were still only five outs away from the World Series in Game 6. That's when Bartman, also a die-hard Cubs fan, reached out for a foul ball and in the process triggered another legendary choke job. They lost in seven games and I cried.
Rebounding from a last place finish in 2006, the Cubs won the division in 2007, but made a mercifully quick exit from the playoffs, losing in three games to Arizona.
Besides solace from my friend Cory, I'm often left to suffer alone in my Prince misery. That's not the case with the Cubs. I don't think there's anyone in my family who isn't a Cubs fan, led by my beloved grandfather, who died never seeing the Cubs win a World Series. He watched every game of every season, cursing when they lost and jingling the ice in his whiskey and water a little louder when they won. Every time the Cubs come close to getting over the curse, I think Grandpa and Harry Caray must be up there pulling some strings and celebrating.
It's an emotional roller coaster I don't look forward to riding this October.
A couple day ago, though, I found some therapy in the form of a song by the great Eddie Vedder. He, like fellow 1990s superstar rocker Billy Corgan, is a big Cubs fan. I think there's an appropriate connection between grunge rock aesthetic and the Cubs. Apparently, Mr. Cub Ernie Banks understands that and asked Vedder to write a song for the team. This is what he came up with:

If you're a Cubs fan, it will give you goosebumps. Vedder sonically captures the optimism, spirituality, depression and passion of Cubs fans.
In the following clip, Corgan displays the strain and heavy-heartedness of Cubdom.



Prince remains silent on the issue.

Where's Prince?

Look what they're doing to his Twin Cities:

They used to call him 'Skipper'

Thanks to my best friend, Cory, for hipping me to this magic, a beautiful little song about sex with a complete stranger.

Prince.Electric.Intercourse
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