Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Sorry

Now Sarah Palin is blaming "Gotcha journalism" for exposing her idiocy on the issues.
That's fine, but the evil liberal gotcha journalist was just some dude in a Temple T-shirt who happened to be getting a cheesesteak at the same time as Palin. I think his "Waziristan is blowing up" may be the new "Don't tase me, bro."
See for yourself:

Finally

Two Georges, one leader

One of the main reasons for the big defeat of the "bailout" or "rescue" plan has been the failure of politicians, most importantly President Illiterate, to explain what it is and what will happen if something isn't done.
Today, Barack finally tried to do that.
Here's the story from The Washington Post.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Paul Newman (1925-2008)


I was saddened this morning to learn that Paul Newman died yesterday. He was 83.
His 1977 hockey comedy, "Slapshot," while not usually mentioned among his greatest films, is one of my favorites, if only just for his clothes.
Here's a list of some other must-see Paul Newman films, which I recommend enjoying with some pasta and his Sockarooni sauce, our family's sauce of choice. And by the way, he was a great liberal.
Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958)
Torn Curtain (1966)
Cool Hand Luke (1967)
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969)
The Towering Inferno (1974)
Slapshot (1977)
The Verdict (1982)
The Color of Money (1986)
Nobody's Fool (1994)
Road to Perdition (2002)

Friday, September 26, 2008

Profile in narcissism

Does this make you rethink your Facebook profile photo?
It's a great way to keep in touch with friends, but it's also a great way to try to make yourself look cool. I know I'm probably guilty, but I do try to fight it, as evidenced by my red-eye campaign announcement.

Things overheard on the playground

Yesterday, I took Sofia to the park for a little outside time. Here's some of the interesting things I overheard:

Middle-aged black woman to another middle-aged black woman with a red-haired white girl: Is that your grandbaby?
Other woman: No, she's my friend's from work.
Lady: Oh, I've got grandbabies that look like her. All my daughters are with white men.

Little girl to me and Sofia: I'm going to play with you guys.
Me: Where's your mom?
Little girl: I don't know.

Rich white lady to another rich white lady: Where's Madison?
Lady: I think she's over there with that man.

Me to Sofia as a little boy squeezes in front of us in line for the slide: Oh, watch out Sofia. That boy's trouble. And he's got ca-ca in his pants.
Sofia everytime we run into that boy on the playground: Trouble!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Campaign Announcement

My fellow free-thinking, freedom-loving Americans, our democracy has turned into an idiocracy. Because of what seems to be our ardent cultural anti-intellectualism, our republic has degenerated into a nation eerily similar to the vision “King of the Hill” and “Office Space” creator Mike Judge layed out in his brilliant 2006 film “Idiocracy.”
In that movie, set 500 years in the future, America has become a nation of stupids, governed by President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho, a tough-talking professional wrestler type. Unfortunately, if recent events are a sign of the path we’re on as a nation, we may not have 500 years. Have you seen that we now need the mountains to turn blue on the label to tell us when our beer is cold?
Dirty Language Alert



I guess what we’ve learned from the latest reality show disguised as our presidential election process, and specifically John McCain’s selection of Sarah Palin as his running mate and the ensuing hysteria, is that we have devolved into a society that believes it’s better to have one of us leading the country rather than the best of us.
My advisors and I have studied this stupefying phenomenon, and after prayerful consideration, today I would like to announce my intention to run for President of the United States of America in the year of our Barbara Walters, 2020.
We studied how both political parties went to great lengths during their respective conventions to prove just how regular their candidates are.
At the Democratic convention, there was very little promotion of Barack Obama’s success at some of the best universities in the country. I know I’m in the minority, but I want a smart guy in office.
We heard about how Sen. Joe Biden rides the train to Washington, D.C., every day. That’s wonderful. Does he have a plan for all of us to ride trains to work so we can save the environment and forget about foreign oil?
Watching the Republican convention, it seemed Sarah Palin’s only qualification is her ordinariness. Fred Thompson gurgled that Palin was the only candidate who knows how to “field dress” a moose. That’s fantastic, because I want somebody who can fit those antlers through a cashmere sweater.
We also met Palin’s son Track. Could a President named Mountain Dew really be that far off?
We seldom heard anything about how McCain was a POW for more than five years in Vietnam. Actually, we heard a lot about that.
It’s a great and heroic story, and not very relevant to the problems we face today. Just like the number of houses the very rich McCains own, unless they have the answers to our current economic troubles buried somewhere under all that real estate.
The campaigns push the average Joe-ness qualities of their candidates on us because they know the tactic works. You voted George W. Bush into the most powerful position in the world because he seemed like the guy you’d most want to drink a beer with. Not like those smart, but boring, eggheads Al Gore and John Kerry.
I will run for President on my resume of regularness, which I have lazily worked to maintain for the first 32 years of my life, and which I pledge not to improve upon for the next 12 years.
I promise, my fellow Americans, I will drink some beers with you. I can also watch some football.
It may be a little early to announce this aspect of my campaign – my surrogates and supporters say I should wait until the opportune moment in the media cycle, or at least until 2016 – but I’m selecting Clinton Mayor Randy Randall as my vice presidential running mate.
What kind of experience does our fair mayor have to be a heartbeat away from the Presidency?
First of all, you already know he’s a guru on the economy, or do I need to remind you of his bald turn as Daddy Warbucks in the Laurens County Community Theatre’s production of “Annie” a couple years back?
But in 2020, as we and our three-member Coalition of the Coal Burners wage wars with every nation that refused to buy the icy oil we drill-baby-drilled through the hearts of baby seals to discover in Alaska, you’re going to ask about Mayor Randall’s foreign policy experience. Might I just offer that as PA announcer at Presbyterian College Blue Hose football games, he knows in detail the plight of the Scottish.
And on national security, there’s no one better. He’s been to Newberry.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Big Z's no-hitter



Carlos Zambrano throws the Cubs' first no-hitter since 1972.
This really could be our year.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Confirmation

"You ever had a knuckle sandwich, old man?"
photo provided by Weinstein News Service

Confirmation today from a story on Politico.com about Sen. McCain's sudden switch from respectable politician to nasty liar.
As we suspected, the campaign's message of more of the same wasn't inspiring media attention or love from the Republican base, so McCain sold his soul and his reputation to go nasty and grab some headlines.
Let's hope getting browbeat by Joy Behar on The View isn't his only penance.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Barack tells them what time it is

My candidate for President breaks down the facts about this latest "outrage."



The refrain in the Van De Voorde household over the last few days has been, "That's not the issue."
Whether it's stories about Palin becoming a grandmother, her newborn son, the fact she eats moose stew, her nasty sarcasm, or some Republican trixie from "The View" saying Michelle Obama had certain things she didn't want to talk about, that's not the issue. It's all designed to keep our eye off the ball of the economy, the war in Irag, the environment, etc. McCain's people know they can't win on those issues, so if they can get the media to cover something else, that's a win, because they're experts on spin and manipulation.
The media is all too willing to play the game. It's must easier to write he said/she said stories of "Obama campaign says this/McCain campaign responds," instead of asking real questions and reporting on real issues. And, let's face it, most Americans would be bored with the issues. They'd much rather follow all the BS sports analogies, politics as bloodsport, "redmeat," etc., because it's easier to understand.
Friends, keep your eye on the ball. Don't be distracted by glasses and teenage pregnancy and phony scandals.

Friday, September 5, 2008

What real journalists don't have time to do

Maybe this is why The Daily Show has become the primary news outlet for young people.
While the big news networks are dispatching their top reporters to stand in the wind and rain, John Stewart and the staff at The Daily Show are uncovering the truth.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

One last thing

I'm tired of Miss Pearle Vision already. So, this is the last thing:
Why the media should apologize by Roger Simon

50 percent off your second pair of frames


The LensCrafters model is even worse than I thought.
That voice!
That attitude!
Those right-wing, book-burning values!
Could her nomination be a ploy to make Americans forget about how much they hate Dick Cheney? It's working.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Where's Prince?

Look what they're doing to his Twin Cities:

News from Wasilla, Alaska

Here's more unsettling crap about McCain's running mate, and it has nothing to do with her pregnant teenage daughter.