My Favorite Things 2008

What Sports Clips can't do for my hair, Blurb does for my ego.

My favorite online business of 2008 is Blurb.com, a nifty do-it-yourself book publishing site that takes all the feelings of failure and inadequacy out of self-publishing and adds a little bit of pride.

I discovered Blurb thanks to my favorite interview of 2008, Che Grand, who had a link to the site on his blog. It was like a whole new world of ways to fill/waste my time had opened up to me.

Blurb sells what they call "bookstore-quality books" and they ain't lying. The print quality is terrific on the pages and the covers, and you can pay extra for "premium paper." The binding for the hardcover and paperbacks seem sturdy, too.

To get started, all you have to do is download their free bookmaking software, which provides all the templates and tools needed to create something really fresh looking.

The program can be a little frustrating at times (I had quite a few shutdown errors when working with lots of pictures), but if you're patient things will come out just fine.
The best thing is you can get as deep into it as you want. You can go mad tweaking every little detail or be a lazy ass and let the program automatically create something for you.

I've seen some really great photo and art books on the site all done by dudes like you and me, except maybe a little more talented. I made a nice coffee table photo book for my wife in honor of our fifth anniversary last September and it came out great, except where I wrote on the dust jacket that we were married in 2006, not 2003. Dumb.

And that's the problem with self-publishing. You really need another set of eyes to proof it.

Blurb recently added a new product, the black and white text book, which I promptly took as a sign from God that I should compile a greatest hits book of columns and make people open them at Christmas.

It turned out to be 148 pages of blissful hilarity, a true Christmas miracle, and it can be yours too for the low, low price of $8.95 ($23.95 for the hardcover edition), plus Blurb's insanely high charge of $7.94 for ground shipping. Just click the advertisement at the top right of this page to order. You'll be glad you did. And if you see any mistakes, just keep it to yourself.

My Favorite Things 2008

Bruce's Barber Shop, Princeton, Iowa

Sports Clips
For someone who cares so much about his hair, I am a cheapskate when it comes to haircuts.
From the $7 hatchet jobs at Great Clips to $45 fancy boy cuts in New York City, I'm rarely satisfied with the finished product, so I've decided I might as well pay as little as possible for my dissatisfaction.
No one seems to be able to match the work of my childhood stylist Bruce the Barber at Bruce's Barbershop in Princeton, Iowa. Bruce had Playboys on the high shelf for the adults and National Geographics on the low shelf for the kids, so either way you were gonna get a glimpse of some breasts while Bruce, slick in a long-sleeved polyester shirt, extolled the virtues of Beeswax and B12 injections, and whistled through his teeth.
Bruce could do anything you asked with his scissors and clippers. I requested mullets and flat tops, and unfortunately, I got them. When I wanted to copy my favorite rappers with lines or my initials shaved into my scalp, Bruce was up for the challenge.
In college, I went to Borick's, a chain of discount salons similar to Great Clips. There was a transvestite working there who I would sometimes see in an action/adventure show on the local cable access channel wearing a Wonder Woman costume and sitting on people's faces.
He was a better actress than stylist, but I was repeat customer because it felt good to be in the presence of a celebrity and you never knew who was going to call in the middle of your haircut and bear the brunt of his saucy wrath.
Now, almost 20 years removed from my last Bruce the Barber haircut, I'm loyal to no stylist. Whoever has the cheapest deal, the shortest wait or a glossy direct mail advertisement is who I trust with trimming my precious locks.
That's how I found my favorite business of 2008, Sports Clips.
The idea behind Sports Clips is that men want to get a cheap haircut surrounded by sports memorabilia and about 20 TVs all tuned to either ESPN or ESPN News.
The mailer I received got me in the door by offering a super discount on Sports Clips' "MVP" treatment, which included a "Precision Haircut," shampoo, scalp massage, steamed towel and neck and shoulder massage.
I went on a Monday morning and there was no wait. As usual, I had a hard time voicing exactly what it was "we were going to do today." I always want to say "Give me the Bob Dylan circa 1964," or "Remember Keanu Reeves' hair in 'Speed'?" Instead, I just gave a variation of the standard order: shorten the sides, keep the length on the top, but trim it and thin out the curls... No, I don't know what number guard you use on the clippers.
I did feel like a king at Sports Clips, or maybe even an MVP, for the 20 minutes it took to run through the program of services. I've never paid a strange woman to rub any part of my body, but the scalp massage was orgasmic. The minty shampoo was great, but I declined their offer to sell me some for home use. I'd never leave the shower.
When it was all over, there I was again, sitting in my car looking at the rearview mirror cursing what just happened to my hair.
On my second trip, I opted for the "Triple Play," which includes everything but the neck and shoulder massage. That was OK, though, because I felt a little embarrassed the first time when the stylist pulled out this vibrating massager and started rubbing it all over me while I tried to seem interested in the latest NASCAR points rundown.
I'll go back again. Not when I really need a haircut, but maybe when there's a good game on because, as I've said before, I don't have cable.

Family Christmas Letter

Dear Family, Friends, Associates, Envious Acquaintances, Supporters Trying to Join Our Inner Circle of Advisors, and Staff Attorneys:

You know it’s not really the holiday season until you receive the Can You Dig It? Family Christmas letter – a time to rejoice in our family’s goodness and, perhaps, inspire in your family a New Year’s resolution to be a little more like us.
It’s been another banner year in the Can You Dig It? household and we plan to wrap it up by cooking and serving a big feast for those less fortunate than us, our relatives. We’ve been blessed with piles upon piles of financial blessings, and a 55-inch Sony Bravia XBR 1080p flat panel LCD HDTV that retails for $6,998.98, so hosting the Christmas dinner seems like the only Christian thing to do.
We don’t know why the liberal media keeps bloviating about the “bad” economy when things have been so perfect and profitable for us! Thanks, corporate bailout (wink, wink “rescue”)!!!
Of course, Mama Dig It is as successful and beautiful as ever, balancing personal satisfaction and family like no mother before her. How she manages to get up every morning with her hangovers is a testament to the power of her strength, grace and Mr. & Mrs. T’s Bloody Mary Mix.
We also want to thank everyone for their prayers following Mama Dig It’s mishap with the Botox and the Little Scruffy’s kennel cough vaccination. Mama’s finally starting to get her appetite back and the doctor says Little Scruffy should be able to wag his tail again after the first of the year.
For all of you disappointed fans of Little Scruffy’s previous Christmas letters, we thought it best that he not write this year’s letter while he recuperates.
Baby Dig It is just 2 years old, but I’m sure you know she’s already way smarter than your children and will make way more money (although, don’t worry, a huge trust fund is waiting for her) when she gets her own musical sitcom on Disney. Like we always say, it’s our superior genes!
After consulting with our counsel, The Can You Dig It?s are also happy to provide an official statement on the status of the “situation” that led to so many of our appearances on “Nancy Grace” this year.
We’re pleased to have made it through another year without a formal indictment, although all of those trips to the state’s attorney’s office for “questioning” put a lot miles on our beautiful new Hummer, which, by the way, turned out to be another blessing when Papa Dig It and his personal trainer/life coach John Daly crashed into the side of that Hooters. Thank goodness no one we know very well was hurt!!

We’re sure all pending legal action will be settled in a timely and just way. We sure are paying for it!
It’s been a rough year for Papa Dig It. His investment in an Illinois Senate seat for himself appears to be going nowhere, he spends most of his mornings wearing a leotard and watching that Beyoncé video and his nights wearing sweatbands and memorizing Trivial Pursuit cards, or “training” as he calls it.
We have faith that he’s going to pull himself out of this rut, most likely with the help of some sort of prescription drug cocktail.
And finally, we want all of you who prayed we’d find Jesus to know that your prayers have been answered. He was wrapped in old Chronicles at the bottom of a Sterilite container, so our garage nativity will once again be the envy of the neighborhood. C’mon by and see him!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Can You Dig It?

Aaaaaay

What the hell is a Ponzi scheme?

This is getting embarrassing

This unbelievably great video from MSNBC shows the President of our United States getting not one, but two, shoes thrown at him Sunday during a press conference in Iraq.


Say what you will about W., the man has cat-like quickness. My wife once threw a shoe at my head after I accidentally passed gas and I couldn't duck in time. George dodged two shoes without losing that damn smirk of his.
Still, I can't help but feel a little bit sorry for him. Imagine if you thought you were saving the world and all you got in return was two shoes thrown at you.
This is another great moment to add to the legacy.

My Favorite Things 2008: Hi-Chew

I will never understand why the Japanese aren't fat.

They have the best video games, lots of crazy game shows, cartoons and scary movies to watch, and they are so technologically advanced that there's really no good reason to get off their tiny little couches.

Now, I find out about this, the tastiest candy I've had in a long time, Hi-Chew.

It's kind of like a Starburst, but way better. I really can't describe it, so I'll let the company's English website do the talking:

1) MEANING OF PRODUCT NAME "HI-CHEW":
Chewing candy with highly smooth texture
2) BRAND CONCEPT:
"Highly Smooth and Extra Juicy Chewing Candy"
3) FLAVOUR LINEUP:
Strawberry / Green apple / Grape / Mango / Lemon / Orange
4) BRAND HISTORY IN JAPAN:
Launched in 1975

Seasonal flavors launched about 3 times a year
5) SCENE TO EAT:
Anytime, anywhere to be refreshed
6) ADVANTAGE:
Juicy fruit flavor offers refreshment

Extra smooth texture offers quick eating at outdoor

At outdoor what, I'm not sure, but I think it works just as well indoors, too.

My wife brought some of the grape variety home from our local branch of the World Market and I've been enjoying its quick-eating ever since. At about $1 a pack, it ain't cheap, so enjoy it like you're a little Japanese schoolgirl, not a fat American.

For you vegetarians out there, the company's site also says the source of its extra chewy, super smooth gelatin is pig hide. Here's some other safety info from their FAQ:

How can I take off Hi-Chew sticking to my hair?
Major raw materials for Hi-Chew are glycogen (glucose syrup and sugar), hydrogenated palm kernel oil, and gelatin. It becomes soft when heated. Please take it off gently by having a shampoo or with a lukewarm wet tawol.
How can I take off Hi-Chew sticking to my clothes?
Major raw materials for Hi-Chew are glycogen (glucose syrup and sugar), hydrogenated palm kernel oil, and gelatin. It becomes soft when heated. Please take it off gently with a lukewarm wet tawol or wash in lukewarm water.

Also, stay away from the packs with a June 2009 expiration date. Apparently, those have been recalled because some customers found pieces of rubber invading the fruity goodness.

For more information, I recommend going to the company's main site, which has lots of cool mascots, and commercials like these:

My Favorite Things 2008

It's December and that means it's time for everybody and their mother to create their year-end best of lists, and Can You Dig It? is no exception.
Over the next few weeks, we'll (please ignore the self-aggrandizing use of the first person plural) do a little tastemaking of our own by profiling some of our favorite things, covering everything from music to frozen dinners.

A great album cover as well

I've been a fan of Raphael Saadiq since I was a soul-searching eighth-grader and he was Raphael Wiggins, the lead singer of the forward-thinking R&B group Tony Toni Toné!. They actually played instruments, which was, and still is, a rare thing in the world of popular R&B music.
It was their second album, "The Revival" (1990) that first got my attention. It included the hit "Feels Good," which unfortunately is still the only thing many people know about the group. They went on to record two more albums, "Sons of Soul" (1993) and "House of Music" (1996), both of which bucked the trends of what was popular at the time, and therefore, are still listenable today.
Saadiq changed his last name for a solo career and began producing songs for other artists, including a Grammy-winning collaboration with D'Angelo, the Prince homage "Untitled (How Does it Feel?)," but saved some of his best work for his own solo albums, "Instant Vintage" (2002) and "Ray Ray" (2004). The tuba solo he melded with West Coast funk on "Still Ray," was proof of his musical genius.

This September, Saadiq released his latest solo CD, "The Way I See It," on which he perfectly recreates the golden era of early 1960s R&B, specifically the classic sound of the Stylistics, the Delfonics and Motown's house band, The Funk Brothers, without abandoning his own unique voice.The ballads "Oh Girl" and "Calling," a Spanish doo-wop duet with Saadiq discovery Rocio Mendoza, are among the album's many highlights, which also include the Hurricane Katrina-inspired "Big Easy" and "Love That Girl," which could be mistaken for a Temptations outake. And did I mention that Stevie Wonder has a guest harmonica solo on "Never Give You Up"?





Christmas comes early for Can You Dig It? when the wife and I get to see Saadiq open for John Legend Wednesday night at the Peace Center in Greenville. You should come with us, but if you can't, I recommend staying home with your baby and this album.