The Office

One of the best things about spending hours in line at the unemployment office -- and don't kid yourself, there are many -- is reading the T-shirts of my fellow applicants.
The greatest ones are those that scream at you in big bright letters covering the entire bulging front acreage of the shirt. After listening to some dude behind me complain that the line was long because "the President is too busy with the environment and everyone else," I spotted a young lady whose shirt gave fair warning to everyone within 45 yards with the advisement, "Don't Hate Me Cause You Aint Me."
I wish I could project that kind of confidence while shuffling through the line to secure my government check, but instead my shirt seems to say "I'm Gonna Have A Meltdown In The Car If You Don't Approve Me And My Kid Will Have to Eat Store Brand Toasted Oat Rings For Dinner."
The good news is the checks are in the mail and I'll get to go back next week for more T-shirt reading. What's up now, suckas? Don't hate me cause you aint me.