Anniversary in question due to mayo

Supposedly, it's our sixth wedding anniversary today. But recent research has uncovered some interesting details that may, in fact, make our wedding vows null and void.
If you've ever had the pleasure to dine with me, live with me or pack a school lunch for me, you should know that I don't like mayonnaise. Actually, I kind of fear it.
I know it's irrational, but it's gross and it smells and I hate it. I don't want anything to do with mayonnaise or any mayonnaise-based condiments or dressings. You can keep your Ranch, Blue Cheese and Thousand Island* salad dressings. Don't even try to come near me with that chicken salad, or God forbid, egg or tuna salad. Dijonnaise can get the eff outta here. And nice try, but despite it's spicy, modern flavor, I'll have to decline the chipotle mayo, too.
Sick.
Now, let's flash back to about seven years ago when my lovely bride-to-be Carolina and I were plotting our wedding day here in Greenville. We wanted an outside wedding that wouldn't be threatened by rain and knew of this beautiful old, open-air building in downtown Greenville, the Wyche Pavilion.
According to this web site, the building was originally built in 1904 as a paint shop for the Markley Carriage Factory, but the rise of the automobile put an end to the demand for horse carriages and the business closed. In 1925, and here's where it gets disgusting, the building became the first production facility for small business owner Eugenia Duke, proprietor of Duke's Mayonnaise.
So, I, the man who gets headaches and cold sweats at the sight of squeezable mayonnaise bottles, made a sacred promise to God and the love of his life under the duress of evil spirits housed in an ancient mayonnaise factory.
I'm not sure how this changes the legality of the vows, but six years later, I'm still glad I made them, egg and oil emulsification be damned!


*I never thought about it before, but it seems right to capitalize the names of salad dressings.

Also, if you didn't take the opportunity to hit the link above to the unusual phobias site, let me quote a few choice posts from the anonymous fear of mayo message board. This is threatening relationships, people! It's nice to know there are others like us out there, some of whom are so scared of mayonnaise they can't even spell it. Sort of gives new meaning to "Sic." Poor souls.
Cue Michael Jackson's "You Are Not Alone":

"I too, am scared of mayonaisse (sic). I can't be near it, or around others eating it. If I see it or smell it, I feel like I'm going to be sick. I make my fiance keep it in a brown paper bag in our refrigerator when he buys it."

"My friends all think Im nuts or something, but yes I DO HAVE A PHOBIA OF THE UNSPOKEN WHITE STUFF. I can't let my roomate have it in the house because I fear it might somehow get on me and then i might accidentaly ingest it. Anyway, keep away from the Miracle Whip y'all. Peace."

"I won’t touch it to get to something behind it in the fridge. I just won’t bother. My brother’s girlfriend is the same way. My dad has thought it was funny to chase after us with a spoonful of mayo, only to have us both run completely out of the house down the street. Not funny."

"I am glad to know that i am not the only person on this earth that is scared of mayonnaise...some ppl think i am play'n...but once they get to know me they see otherwise. I can't stand to think about it...smell it....and i would rip out my stomach if i ever ate it. My friends try to put it on me...and i will seriously go crazy. I cry...i gag...i can't explain the feeling. I need help!...the funny thing is i love ranch dressing and it has no effect on me. I literaly live my life around around my fear....i will not eat at a resterant if i know there is a possibility that mayo may get put on my food."

"I also have a fear of mayonaise (sic). Ever since the 3rd grade when my friend tortured me by squeezing it out of her sandwhich it has grossed me out. I don't like to be around it, or be around anyone whos eating it. Strangely enough, I sometimes have a TINY bit of it on my sandwich, but I will make someone else put it on."