Conan, Jay and Dave

This whole Conan and Leno thing is getting embarrassing, with each of them milking the attention for all it's worth and beyond.

My main interest in this is that, like millions of Americans, I can't stand Jay Leno. Not only is he not funny, but he's also a tremendously annoying kiss-ass. Late night talk shows that serve solely as a promotional tool are bad enough, but Leno does it with such gusto and phoniness that it becomes unbearable.

Conan's act used to be wonderful, back in the esteemed days of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and the Masturbating Bear, but now he spends a little too much time doing funny little voices on the side. It's annoying, too, but I still like him.

My allegiance, though, will always be to Dave Letterman. He's smart (although the real Conan is probably smarter), he's not afraid to be outspoken or poke fun at his inane guests or ask a tough question of others, and his sense of humor is generally more in line with my own.

Plus, he hates Leno about as much as I do.