Facebook Display of Affection

Don't front. My kid is the cutest of all time.

The Facebook status update can be a wonderful thing.
It's a great way to alert your "friends" of your current state of being, conveniently facilitating at least a surface connection with relationships you may otherwise let fall by the wayside. I'm bad at staying in touch with even my best-est friends, so I'm thankful that Facebook allows me to see what old acquaintances and friends are up to without requiring any more effort from me than a username and password. It's nice.
I really do enjoy seeing pictures of you and your family on vacation, learning what you're up to at work, seeing which "Highway to Heaven" character you are (You are so Mark Gordon!) and what you scored on the Harry Potter quiz. It's a good time and I have a lot of time on my hands.
The status update can also be used to showcase how amazingly clever and cool you are. You're my friend because for some reason I do think you are clever and cool and I don't mind that. I'm as guilty as anybody when it comes to shameless self promotion, but a line must be drawn.

That line, I think, although it may make me out to be a jerk, is repeated sappy updates on how much you love your snuggly-wuggly-woopy-boopy-bear.

I love my wife, too, so I try to tell her in person, not in front of people I went to junior high with. There's nothing wrong with being proud of your love, but that pride should be displayed moderately or else it comes off as boasting, and freaking annoying.

I know I'm not the only one in this camp and I enjoy commiserating with other jerks at this wonderful blog, STFU, Marrieds, a site my incredibly smart beautiful sexy light-of-my-life wife turned me on to, which publishes anonymously submitted screenshots of offending Facebook "walls."
Then, there are the parents.
I'm a proud parent, too, so I know how hard it is to not tell the world how fantastically cute your child is. I've done it and I'll unabashedly do it some more, but again, moderation is the key. I know you love your kids, but come on. Every day? Over and over with the poop descriptions and hug recaps? STFU, Parents compiles the really annoying ones.

Now to something cute from my house.

See if you can guess who said what during this lunchtime conversation with my unbelievably precious daughter:

A: I smell that.
B: What do you smell?
A: That Chinese food.
B: Do you like it?
A: No.
B: Why?
A: It makes me upset.

In the meantime, have a good weekend. Can't wait to read about it and see pictures on Facebook. No, really.